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The SEM Hierarchy of the Email Inbox
September 14, 2006 |
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Into each social structure, a little stratification must fall. As our
society takes a decidedly virtual turn, I’m finding that my Outlook
inbox is the latest place where a class structure is taking shape.
Of course, you have the standard spam vs non spam sorting, but this
doesn’t really count. That happens pretty much transparently in the
background, and every day or so I wade through the muck in my deleted
spam folder just to make sure a vital piece of communication didn’t get
way laid. For instance, today an email from my lawyer went there. On
second thought, perhaps the filter knew better than I what should be
deleted.
No, it’s the email that survives the cut that is subject to endless
classification and sorting, as I haplessly try to wrap my priorities
around an ever expanding inbox. At first, I thought the 6 different
flags supplied by Outlook would do the trick, but I quickly realized my
complicated world needs much more than 6 classifications.
So in an attempt to ease the daily burden of countless search marketers,
I offer the following suggestions for an SEM Custom Rules plug in that
would automatically take the following actions in Outlook’s inbox.
The “Anything from Google” Rule
It doesn’t really matter what comes in with an “@google.com” on the back
end, you’d better open it right away. These go on the top of the list.
If it’s from Matt Cutts or Tim Armstrong, perhaps a siren and flashing
red light to draw further attention. I don’t get emails from Eric,
Sergey or Larry, and I suspect the same is true for most SEM’s, but if I
ever did, I would like a heavenly ray of light to shine gently on me as
a choir of angels sing the Hallelujah Chorus.
The MSN Beta Invitation Rule
This could dramatically reduce the manual sorting required by
automatically signing up for beta test groups for MSN’s new adCenter
products, including the Targeting by Presence of Facial Hair Platform,
the Visitors You Wish You Got Report feature and the Integrated adCenter/Xbox
360 Console, which drops you into a virtual 3D world where you can walk
up to leads that didn’t convert and slap them for being stupid.
The “Hey I Got a Speaking Gig” Rule
This would (until recently anyway) include emails from Danny Sullivan,
Chris Sherman and Brett Tabke, indicating which panel you’d be speaking
on at the next big show. These emails have to be referred to quickly so
you have time to book hotels and flights, and then start emailing to see
who else will be at the show, who was going to what after hours
function, if you could catch a ride with them, who else was on your
panel, and when is the deadline for getting the presentation done (no,
not the official deadline..the “real” deadline).
The “Why the Hell Did I Sign Up for This?” Rule
The average search marketer signs up for approximately 6,428,943
newsletters, 194,597 Google news alerts, 963,693 forum post
notifications, and that doesn’t include RSS subscriptions. This is all
done in the hopes of gaining some vital piece of information that would
give them the leg up on the competition, who are of course all
subscribing to the same things. This rule would scan everything for the
1 in 159,975 chance that there’s a useful tidbit in there somewhere. The
one exception is the Search Insider..naturally.
The SEMPO Board Communication Rule
Admittedly for a very small market, this would be none the less be
essential for those who serve on SEMPO’s board. It would be able to
detect the difference between the 9543 emails a day you get just because
you were part of the email alias or a 12 page long cc list and the ones
that are requesting you to get off your butt and do something.
The “Rocket to the Top of the Search Engines” Rule
Although technically spam, I like to read these emails every so often
and feel smug about how superior and morally pure I am and how far my
company has come since the days when everyone tried this marketing
tactic.
The “Arrange a Meeting/Teleconference” Rule
Why don’t we just accept the fact that it takes 3.6 months and 112
emails back and forth to arrange any type of call or meeting and
automate the process? That way we can still feel good that we’re trying
to facilitate the phantom meeting by generating reams of emails and
invitations, while saving us some time. In the end, it will
automatically revert to the original time and date proposed, as it
turned out that it was really the best for everyone anyway.
The “Loved Your Column” Rule
Okay, seriously, these emails, when they come in (and yes, I have got a
few), are the highlight of my day and they’re the first I respond to. Of
course, don’t take this as a hint or anything. |
Gord Hotchkiss
President and CEO
Enquiro Full Service Search Engine Marketing
Search Engine Positioning by Searchengineposition
Blog: www.outofmygord.com
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